I need a break

Just yesterday I posted on Facebook that I was taking a break from the all popular site for a few weeks.  I am an avid facebooker but I started to realize that maybe it was consuming too much of my time.  After all - I declared Monday to be "Media Free Monday" to our children at home and one of my biggest rules is "no media used in the house during school days"  except of course for me!  I would leave the site up on my desktop - checking it every few minutes... did someone respond to my funny post - did my neighbors, half sister's, daughters, sons, wife have the baby yet?  What is is about facebook that has me so hooked?  I will sit and look at an old friends Aunt's photos and look through the profiles of people I hardly know for hours... Whats up with this?  It is procrastination at its best.  The more I thought about it the clearer it became to me that I really don't need facebook in my life.  I know it is a great way to keep in touch and to see old friends and I know I will stay on as a user - but the time sucking has got to stop.  Maybe now I can get back to reading or sleeping or having a conversation with one of my kids without having one eye on the computer.  Sure it has been hard today to not click over - and the fact that I can stalk Facebook from my phone is so tempting - but I am going to try and stick it out - till August 1st!  I know this will post on Facebook because that is one of the ways I advertise a new post - but you can be assured that I will not be clicking on to see it from there.  If you need me - you can call like in the old days.  If it is your birthday. anniversary, first date, last date, first day with a new toothpaste, or you are waiting on line at the grocery store 3 people behind the lady with triplets that bought everything in threes... I will find out sooner or later.  If my neighbors half sister's daughters sons wife has the baby- I'm sure I will hear about that too!  In the meantime call me and maybe you can even stop by for a cup of coffee.  You might just find me curled up with a good book using up all of these fabulous Facebook free minutes. 

I was wrong...(hard to admit)

Each year in July I have a great responsibility.  I am the Assistant Director for a Vacation Bible School at my church.  I am sure many of you can relate to what a huge task it would be to place and look over 200 plus children and 90 plus staff.  It is HUGE - but I love it. 
Would you believe it if I told you that a few years back I hated VBS?  I thought that only crazy - bible bashing - weird hippie Jesus loving freaks would send their children there.  I would shake my head at my then sister in law when she told me my nephew was going thinking... that poor girl is so mislead - she is nuts!  A whole week of brain washing - bible thumping!  Ugh!  Not for me!  But I was wrong.  (hard to admit) I was so wrong.
The perspective I had about VBS is what helps me to be a better leader today.  Because I remember the way I felt about it and the church - I can help to assure others that VBS is not for weird hippie loving Jesus freaks - well OK the staff and lots of the kids are Jesus lovers - but they are not weird and they do not bible bash - they are just regular people with a firm belief in God, Jesus and the bible.  They are some of the best people I know.
I get so excited to share "my" church with others.  I love that these visitors can come and see my church in all its glory - serving the community and serving these families in such a positive way.  VBS is an awesome week of happy, fun, crazy, horse riding, water balloon, singing and learning all in the name of Jesus.  The kids love it - the volunteers love it and I love it.
So I wonder why - after such an amazing week that some of the people who are there visiting don't want to jump right in and start coming to my church.  Can't they see all that this church has to offer?  Can't they see the awesome network of friends?  Can't they see the kind and compassionate side of these church people like I did?  Can't they see?  They sit there stuck in a meaningless world filled with hatred and self pity - when all the while there is this party going on right around them that they are encouraged to join.
Maybe they hold back out of fear - after all who wants to look like a Jesus freak?  I know I didn't... Maybe they don't feel worthy of receiving love - especially from strangers.  I know I didn't... Maybe they are just stuck in old traditions and scared to explore what is not "normal" to them.  I know I was...  But I found that when I did start to open up and let go of my fear and allow others to show me what they had, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. 
Let's put Jesus aside for a minute here... when I started going to this church it wasn't because of Jesus or God or really for any faith reason.  It was because of the people I met at the church.  They were the real reason I started going.  I was jealous of the people.  I wanted what they had - I wanted to be happy and to have a great group of friends that I could rely on - people that would always steer me in the right direction - friends with good advice and lots of love.  No gossip - no back stabbing.  That is what I saw at first... what I got was so much more. 
As I started opening up and listening and reading and learning I finally figured out the real reason I was there.  It was to build my faith and belief in God, Jesus and the Bible that was the only real way to get what they had.  The reason why they love, is because they are trying to show God's love.  They reason why they care is the same.  They do not gossip - and hold each other accountable for the same.  They give great advice - because they are speaking from a solid and firm background of faith.  They are the body of Christ... they are doing His work.
Now I don't want to get all bible bashy here and I don't want to freak anyone out... I just wish that others could see all that they could have... if they just gave it a chance.  If they just softened a little - just a little - and opened up - they would see all that they could have - a life filled with happiness and Joy - a great group of friends - lots of love - and yes, at the core of it all... Jesus.
He is the way, the truth and the life and I hope and pray that I have done His work at VBS - leading people to Him - showing people about Him and helping to remove a stereotype here and there.  I pray that all who are lost will find Him and feel the love! I pray for people to see the truth... and explore the possibilities.  I know they won't be sorry they did.

Learning how to make friends

Monday was the 4th of July.  I spent the better part of the day at my neighbors house.  She invited a few families from around the way.  The kids had a great time playing with their friends and I did too - because, you see when I was growing up... I had no friends.  I don't think I had friends until I hit high school.  I didn't need any.  I had 20 cousins who all lived on the same block.  We ate together, slept together, played together - we vacationed together - we were always together.  They were my friends - they were my playmates - they were my summer.  It was natural to me that my children would grow up the same way - with all of their cousins around... but circumstances out of my control dictated otherwise.  My children have no cousins to play with.  Their oldest cousin is never around and my sister moved away - so their closest cousins are far, far away.  Don't get me wrong - we do get to see the cousins and we try to spend as much time together as we can-  but as far as the daily grind - it's friends that we play with - not cousins.  This is so hard for me.  It is foreign.  It is weird.  When I was growing up it was the Americans that had friends.  The non-Italians who ate white bread and things like Sloppy Joes.   Us Italians all lived together - we didn't need anyone else.  It was kind of closed minded and inside the box - but that's just the way we lived.  It's not that we didn't want friends - it's just that we were so consumed by the family events that we didn't need any friends.  Our family was so big and loud that we probably scared away any potential friend anyway. 
I am thankful for all of the friends I spent time with Monday night.  I felt happy and loved and my kids had a blast.  I was excited to make future plans for this week - again to hang out with friends.  These people are filling in for my family.  They are taking on the role of "aunt" and "uncle", "cousin" and "brother" with just a few extra formalities.  As we sat around chatting - I couldn't help but remember my mother sitting with my Aunts and Uncles... chatting.  We could be them... without the family ties and I am OK with that. 
I am so thankful for my neighbor, Christine.  I love that we share coffee and juicy stories on a daily basis.  I love that my kids feel as comfortable in her house as they do in mine and vice versa.  I love that our husbands work on projects together and help each other out all the time.  She and her family are filling in a huge void in my life - and they do it perfectly.  I can always count on her and I hope she would say the same about me.
It's amazing... but I think I am finally learning how to make friends... something I should have learned in Kindergarten.