Family Reunion

While riding in the car with Salvatore today, he told me that our house was PHAT.  He explained to me that there was a difference between fat and PHAT and we were PHAT.  He told me that he loves our house because of the climbing tree in the front yard, the pool, his awesome bedroom and much, much more.  He loves our neighborhood and he loves his school and he has great friends.  It made me happy to hear hear.  My husband and I specifically picked our house for most of the reasons why Salvatore loves it... so I guess we hit the nail right on the head.  But just as I felt happy for his report, I felt a twinge of sadness too.  You see - I was brought up a little differently.  If you would have asked me what I liked most about where I grew up as a child, I would have rattled off a list of people - not things - that I loved so much.  I would have told you about my sisters and cousins: Josene, John, Steven, Lenore, Lenny, Sal, Debbie, Toni, Leanne and all the rest of them.  I would have told you stories about the games we played and all of the things we did together.  My home was so much bigger than my kids home is today because I had 10 homes that I could feel safe and comfortable and loved in.  I was always so thankful that I grew up where I did because of all of the family that I had living so close by.  It was who we were by culture... Italians who all stuck together.  It was so great - so very special and I will never have it again.  I mourn that for my children, because I know how much they would have loved it too.  When I was a child I just naturally assumed that "we" would always be together.  I assumed that my children would know all of their cousins - first and second and third - because we would all live nearby.  I can literally feel an ache in my heart just writing this now.  It was a gradual loss... One cousin moving out east... one to Westchester... then one to Jersey!  Oh my that was a biggie!  One by one, we all grew up and left 12th street.  Most living nearby - some not.  And as time went on, a spat here and there further divided us.  Most of us still stay in touch via Facebook and occasional phone calls.  We see each other at holidays sometimes.  My cousin is hosting a family reunion at his house this summer so we will get to see just about everyone... but my heart still aches... for me and for my kids.  I so deeply miss my little childhood bubble of a world.  But there is nothing I can do about the choices that we all have made and so I have to accept that this is the way my children are growing up.  They are happy, and they are loved and they have great friends....but oh what a loss!  I sometimes dream of winning the lottery and surprising all of my relatives with a great vacation - a time when we could all be together and reminisce.  It would be great to have a few days together to swap old stories and to let our kids really get to know their cousins.  It would be great to see my Aunt and my mother sit down for a cup of coffee... Maybe, someday.  For now, I will look forward to that family reunion with anticipation and excitement and day dream back in time to 12th street and those beloved endless childhood days.